Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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