just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
