a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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