I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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