MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
