We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
