Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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