You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
