I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize