Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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