I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize