why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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