So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize