im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Hippo gnu deer
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
