every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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