Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
