If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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