im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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