I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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