he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
