What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
