I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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