Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Acid is not a monday night drug
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
