You can't motorboat a personality
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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