you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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