My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I accidentally burped into my bong.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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