Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
