best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
