it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
