so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize