Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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