I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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