those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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