dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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