chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
