why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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