East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This girl is more easily done than said...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
