Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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