she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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