Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
