You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
