Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
