Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
