HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
