I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
