How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
