you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
