I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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