What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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