just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize