shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
