So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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