Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
