It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
There's even glitter on my cock...
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