Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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