yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
