either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
