we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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