Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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