This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize