Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
