In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just tell him i said nine months
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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