I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
a search helicopter?!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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